Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Life Outside the Social Media

I am a fan of social media. I really am. I came later to it than many people, but what's not to like? facebook, Twitter, Blogging, it's all good. Well, mostly good. There's thing thing that's been bugging me ever since I joined facebook and has gotten exponentially worse since I started blogging: How to not talk about social media, when you're spending face-to-face time with your actual friends?

See, when something interesting happens in my life, I usually update my facebook status. When I have a random thought I've got to get out of my head, I tweet about it. When my children do something adorable or something annoys the crap out of me that cannot be contained in 140 or even 420 characters, I blog about it. Some of this is for the other people in my life. My Little Ants blog (my other blog about my kids), for example, exists primarily so that grandparents and other distant relatives can read stories about my boys and I can feel less guilty about the fact that I am horrible at sending pictures regularly. It's separate from this blog so that said grandparents and great-grandparents don't need to sift through my regular tirades to get to adorable stories about their grandkids. And I still love facebook for staying up to date with the lives of my friends whom I don't see as often as I used to. But this blog is pretty much just for me. If I hear something on the radio annoys the crap out of me, I can blog about it instead of yelling at my radio. Well, maybe in addition to yelling at my radio. (It's how I know it'll be a good post. Is it yell at nobody in my car worthy?) Don't get me wrong. I am very happy to have readers. (Hello, readers. *waves*) In fact, I love a good debate and LOVE thought provoking comments.But I truly hope that no one is reading this blog just because they think I'll be disappointed if they don't. Really, people, we've got too much going on in our lives to read blogs we're not interested in. So if everyone I know never reads this blog again, I'll really be ok with it. Same with facebook. If you're not digging what I'm putting out there, unfriend me; or at least hide me from your feed. We can still be real friends even if we're not facebook "friends".

But how do you talk to people who are friends with you on facebook without starting every sentence with, "Did you see what I posted on facebook?" It's even worse now that I have a blog. I say way too often: "Did you read my blog post about x?" 

What I'm saying is this:
You just said something that reminded me of something cute my kid did. But I've already blogged about it. So if you read that post already, I'm not gonna' tell you the story again. So I just want to know if you've already heard this story before I tell it to you again.
But here's what I think it sounds like:
Dude. I am so awesome that I have a blog that's totally about every random and awesome thought that pops into my head. My blog is so awesome. And you should totally be reading it. Every post. It's all about me, you know? So are you reading it? Because you totally should be.
So if I am ever out with you for dinner or we're talking over a nice bottle of Cabernet and I ask you, "Did you see my blog post about x?" Please know that my feelings of self-worth are not tied to your answer. I just want to know if I should tell you the personal anecdote that just popped into my head and happens to be something I've already blogged about.




Gilsner said...

My issue is when I talk to people who don't know I blog about another blogger. So I'm all "I have a friend who..." or "I know someone that..." and I'm pretty sure they all think I'm making people up because, really, who has friends all over the place who get free stuff at conferences and appear on talk shows from time to time?

My other issue? When people bring up a story I know I didn't tell them that they obviously read online, but bring it up in such a way that they act like there were there. I totally shut down and don't engage in those conversations because a) that's creepy and b) that's creepy.

Just saying... creepy. My biggest blogging regret? Not trying harder on the whole anonymity thing. *sigh*

OakParkGirl said...

I am the same way... I always preface stories because I don't want to start in on it and have them say "yeah, yeah, we know, we saw it in 18 places this morning" :)

*I* will never be offended, because it's probably a safe bet I have read it already. Just like I have certain people I go ahead and assume they haven't read anything yet, like my brother. Despite him being on the computer constantly, he doesn't really do the social networking thing.

I do keep forgetting about little Ants, those stories are adorable!

rubyspikes said...

Gilsner: The anonymity thing is a tough one. Might be easier without the pretense. I have to keep checking that I'm used the pseudonyms all the time and didn't slip in real names. (Not that it would be the end of the world if I slipped.) Plus, most of MY readers know me IRL. Of my 17 "official" followers, 10 I know IRL, but I'm thinking most of my readership still comes from my fb friends.

OakParkGirl: I loved that, "we saw it 18 places this morning." You do get around the social media. ;) You're so cute.

adee4 said...

i have a relative that ask me if i saw what she post or so-and-so post. I lie sometimes and say that i didn't when i did. if nothing else she reminds me not to ask if any one has read my post...

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